Thursday, May 10, 2012

Haggis the Goat part 8 of 37

    The rag tag group of heroes (That's 'heroes' with an 'e' by the way, you never spell the plural of 'hero' without an e. It's always 'heroes,' never 'heros.' and it's ESPECIALLY not 'hero's' unless it's belonging to ONE hero. Anyway, back to the story.) made their way to the airplane the next day. The Ridiculously White Man with the Handlebar Mustache, who from now on we'll call Devin (because seriously, 'The Ridiculously White Man with the Handlebar Mustache' is way too much trouble to type every time I want to mention him), spoke to Steve. "Hey. You know how in action movies, the hero always says some witty phrase right before he gets in the plane and dramatically flies away?"
    "Yeah." Steve said. "Why?"
    "Cause we should do that."
    "Why?" Steve responded.
    "It would be pretty cool."
    Just then they reached the stairs to the airplane. They begin walking up to the door, with Hippie Guitar Man in front and Haggis the goat in the back. As Devin passed the door man (yeah, there's a door man.) who was politely holding the door open for them, the door man slipped something to Devin. "It'll come in handy. Trust me." Devin kept walking, and the door man kept politely holding open doors for the rag-tag group of heroes who politely thanked him for politely holding open the door.
     Just then a thought hit Devin. "Ow!" Devin said. "That thought hit me rather hard." Then he examined the thought that had hit him. What the thought was, in fact, was that he had gotten a job at the toothpaste cap factory, and had not shown up for work one single time. Of course, now that Haggis the goat was making best selling hip-hop/rap albums, he didn't need a job. He called up his employer and told him he quit. His former employer yelled at him repeatedly that he was a nitty, and then broke into tears. Devin hung up the phone.
    The door man held open the door for Haggis, who was the last one to come into the plane. Haggis put sunglasses on. "Baaaaaaaaa" he said. He turned, facing the sunset and raised his eyebrow. He took his sunglasses off. "Baababababbbabaaaaa baaa." (for those who don't speak goat, he was saying a melodramatic and somewhat witty phrase before they flew off into the sunset.) They flew off into the sunset.
                                    DAYS LATER

Devin stepped onto the green grass, his polyester pants swishing each time he took a step. He rubbed his chin and turned around to face the rest of the team. "Well, men. I have no idea what I am doing. So I'm going to go ahead and turn the lead over to Hippie Guitar Man."
    Hippie Guitar Man stepped forward. "Gentlemen, I have only one thing to say. BOB, YOU ARE SUCH A NITTY! Now let's catch a haggis."

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