Friday, January 20, 2012

The Tale of Haggis the Goat returns! Part 5 of 37.

When we last left off, Haggis the Goat, The Man With the Handlebar mustache, and Hippie Guitar man were following Recording Studio Owner Who Had Been Watching The Goings On From a Distance Man to his recording studio.
"My!" exclaimed The Man with the Handlebar Mustache, "A real recording studio! I can't believe we've caught such a lucky break!"
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" Haggis agreed.
Hippie Guitar Man didn't say anything. He was too busy clapping his hands and swaying to the music inside his head to do anything but eat a whole-wheat all-natural organic baby carrot.
They finally arrived at the recording studio, called Addicted to Pants, and Recording Studio Owner Who Had Been Watching The Goings On From a Distance Man held open the door for them. The three walked in the building. Hippie Guitar Man put a baby carrot in his ear as thanks.
"Wow!" The Man with the Handlebar Mustache gasped. "It's wonderful in here!"
He looked down at the paisley carpet approvingly, the pastel coloured wall tiles made him grin with glee, and the red and blue striped and polka dotted ceiling tiles caused him to skip around the building happily. He looked at the paintings on the wall. "My! This picture of a landscape with a waterfall is quite gripping! Oh, and what's this one over here?" He asked, walking further down the wall to the next one. "Horses! My oh my! My second favorite animal from the equus genus! Look at them run! See the thunder in those hearts! Feel the rain in those ears!  Feel the passion in those eyes!"
"Alright! First things first," said Recording Studio Owner Who Had Been Watching The Goings On From a Distance Man, "You can call me Steve. Now let's get recording!" Steve, or Recording Studio Owner Who Had Been Watching The Goings On From a Distance Man said.
The went in to the first recording booth. The walls were covered in packing peanuts that had been stapled on to reduce the echo. Steve dragged a microphone out from the corner. "Alright. All we actually could afford at this studio was this one microphone, so it looks like one of you will have to use this potato to record."
"I only use whole-wheat all-natural organic potatoes, man." said Hippie Guitar Man.
"Oh, I assure you it's the most whole-wheat all-natural organic potato around," Steve validated.
So they began to record. The raps were flying free, and the guitar was wild and unchained. The amalgamation of the words and the music created such sweet harmony that the sky itself started crying tears of joy. Or pain. Whatever.
At any rate, by the end of the day, they had an album recorded. Now all that was left was to market and sell it.
The door flew open. A very tall young man dressed in a black suit walked in.
"Staven." Steve greeted Staven.
"Steve." Staven greeted Steve.
Steve turned to back to the group. "Staven is just the assistant here," he explained to them.
Staven smiled evilly. "Not for long..." he muttered under his breath.

   Part 6 coming next week!

Master Chef.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

New Years Resolutions.

I've made a list here of new years resolutions. I don't have anything to say other than what's on the list, really, so here we go.

This year I resolve to …

1. Find the proof in the pudding.

2. Let sleepin' dogs lie.

3. Chunk handfuls of applesauce at my neighbors on a weekly basis.

4. Put the smiles on those kids' faces.

5. Take a midnight train going anyyyyyy wheeeeeerrre.

6. Fight crime dressed as a stalk of corn.

7. Tiptoe from the garden by the garden of the willow tree.

8. Find out what "finding the proof in the pudding" means.

9. Have two birds in the bush and one in the hand.

10. Put a spoke in the wheel.

11. Make it snappy.

12. Make no bones about it.

13. And finally... Write a new blog post at least every week. And stick to it for more than a month. Unfortunately I've already missed two weeks, so maybe there'll be some bonus posts later on. 

Master Chef.